"You'll shoot your eye out..."

I happen to enjoy eavesdropping on random passerby when I get bored or when I'm by myself. It's just generally entertaining to me to hear half of a conversation and imagine where the rest of it will lead.

On occasion I happen to over hear a real gem.

I happen to frequent a local arcade to play it up on Dance Dance Revolution, because ever since I quit smoking, I've been slowly expanding out of every pair of pants I own. Fun.

This arcade is one of those massive "holy crap let's have a ton of freakin' fun here guys" type places. You know, batting cages, pirate-themed putt putt, laser tag, bumper cars, etc. I mainly stick my little darkened corner and kill arrows while ignoring the excited spawn that happen to gather every so often.

I usually play a few rounds, then make my way to the water fountain to replenish myself and get a breather. It just so happens that the boyfriend needed to use the restroom at the same time I needed a drink. So I walk to the fountain, waiting for the boyfriend to come back from the restroom and I see this boy. He's about 10 or so, looks like he's at a birthday party with all his friends from Boy Scouts, but this boy is all by himself, leaning against the wall near the laser tag room while talking on a cell phone. He looks upset.

I am curious.

I move closer.

And hear:

"Mom! It's not fair....no! Mom! They're not real lasers! Look...mom...mom...mom....listen...the worst...listen to me mom! The worst thing that can happen is that it goes in my eye and I might blink!"

Yes, because laser tag consists of searing the limbs off your opponents with high powered death rays.

You poor child to have to call that woman "mom".